Amy's Musings

Our family has the tradition of telling the “Birth Story” at each birthday. Each year I have heard the story of each family member’s birth. This oral tradition is kinda cool because I know many details about how my mom was born in 1949 and my kid’s get to hear it firsthand also.  Now that my grandparents have passed away my mom and uncle share the telling of the story.

Well, today I wanted to share with everyone Jayme’s “Birth Story” since today is her 13th birthday!

January 18th, 1998 was a Sunday. Mike was a youth pastor at a small church in Missouri. It was like any other January Sunday except I had to waddle everywhere being 40 weeks pregnant. After church we came home, which was a walk across the church parking lot since we lived in a parsonage above the church gymnasium. We ate lunch and had Rachel take her nap (she was one month shy of her 4th birthday).

Sometime late in the afternoon I started having contractions. This was normal for me since I had Braxon Hicks a lot with all of my pregnancies.  I stayed home the rest of the day  watching television and playing on the computer. (and yes, they did have internet back in the old days. I had free email with Juno!)

When Mike came home from church I gave him the update that I was having contractions every 10 minutes. So we made a call into the doctor and he had me come to the hospital to get checked out.

When we arrived they decided to keep me for a few hours and have me walk the hallways to see if this helped progress me along. As we were walking the hall, we could hear a bunch of women squealing with delight and saying, “He is so beautiful!” I teared up and said to Mike, “A little boy must have been born!” Well, as it turns out, they were watching an awards show and Leonardo DeCaprio had just won an award. I felt silly. lol

The doctors again came in and rechecked me and decided to admit me for the night and if I don’t progress, they will just induce me in the morning since I was at 40 weeks. So we made that phone call to my parents in Kansas to let them know to pack up and start driving.

The night was slow. My parents arrived between 3-4am and but stopped by the local Walmart for film (no digital cameras in 1998) before driving the last 10 minutes to the hospital. My contractions stopped sometime in the night and I didn’t really sleep well because I knew they would have to induce me first thing in the morning.

Early, before 7am, the doctor came in and broke my water then gave me pitocin in an iv. Ugh! The strong contractions started quickly.  Then came the epidural late morning. After the epidural, I progressed quickly. By one in the afternoon Jayme was entering this world!

She was a sweet little thing! She had these two white spots on her scalp. I hadn’t seen anything like it and I asked the nurse what it was. Apparently, she has two white pigment spots where her hair grows almost white. (To this day she still has them and they look really cool!) Then after Jayme was cleaned up,  she stuck her fingers in her mouth and sucked on them hard. We have video of her sucking so loud on them, smacking and slurping. It melted my heart.

She was happy and healthy! I could have picked spelling her name, “Jamie” but a book of names said it meant “one who replaces”. Instead, we picked “Jayme” because it means “gracious gift from the Lord”.

Jayme has been a big blessing to us! We love you and hope you have an awesome birthday!

The weather in my neck of the woods:

Snow day! We have had about 2 inches in the last 2 hours.

Things that make me happy:

Snow!

Book(s) I’m reading:

I am currently reading the book of Isaiah in the Bible, my favorite because of all the hope given to us messed up people.  And also rereading: The Emotionally Destructive Relationship by Leslie Vernick

What I’m enjoying on TV:

House Hunters International. I don’t like watching the ones where rich people are fussing over how their potential vacation hope is unacceptable because the appliances are 8 years old. I like the ones where they follow locals buying a home to live in. It’s funny to see them praise the space of a 5×5 kitchen because it is spacious when Americans freak if you can touch the fridge and stove at the same time.

New Recipe I tried or want to try soon:

It isn’t a recipe, but my K-cups for my Keurig. I ordered some new flavors online because I had a buy 2 boxes, get 2 boxes free. I look forward to my new coffee and tea flavors. It is supposed to be delivered tomorrow.

On the Menu for dinner:

Mmmmm… I never know until it is time to make it. Maybe spicy quinoa or maybe salmon patties.

On my To Do List:

Clean the bathrooms…blech.

In the Craft Basket:

A half finished crochet kitten. I started it last week.

Looking forward to this week:

Going to Columbus on Friday to see my great nephew be born.

My favorite blog post this week (Mine or other):

http://networkedblogs.com/cR22W

He is a biblical counselor and author that I follow on Facebook.

Blog Hopping (A new discovered blog you would like to share with other readers)”:

http://www.christianmomma.com/

A friend from church.

No words needed (favorite picture, yours or others you want to share):

This is my cat, Charlie, last fall just chilling on the back of the couch.

Lesson learned the past few days:

God is hearing my prayers. He has answered so many of them this past week.

On my Prayer list/things on my mind:

Some friends have been on my heart. Don’t know why, but I am praying for you!

Devotionals, scripture reading, key verses:

Isaiah 2:3-5

3“Come, let us go up to the mountain of the LORD,
to the temple of the God of Jacob.
He will teach us his ways,
so that we may walk in his paths.”
The law will go out from Zion,
the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.
⁴ He will judge between the nations
and will settle disputes for many peoples.
They will beat their swords into plowshares
and their spears into pruning hooks.
Nation will not take up sword against nation,
nor will they train for war anymore.

⁵ Come, descendants of Jacob,
let us walk in the light of the LORD.”

Think about how wonderful things will be when there is complete peace! Until then, let us walk in the light of the Lord!

I love watching A Charlie Brown Christmas each year. I am extremely reminiscent and love to see the simple, sweet message of hope and joy that Linus presents on that stage.

It stars Charlie Brown, no doubt, with all of his lovable pessimistic charm. I relate to that.  You see, by the world’s standards I am hopelessly pessimistic also. Of course, I consider myself a “realist”. Seriously, things never turn out like they are supposed to so I am mentally prepared ahead of time! 

I do get frustrated when things don’t turn out in the idealistic fashion that I have planned. I am very hard on myself when I feel that I have underperformed. I would love the luxury of storming off and pouting like a little kid. But thankfully, God in his wisdom whispers in my ear and redirects me. He reminds me that it is all about his perfect plan that spans more than my measly daily troubles and plans.  He gives me confidence that when it doesn’t make sense to me, there will be sense someday.

In the city of Never-Are-Satisfied,
The river of Discontent beside.
They growl at that and they growl at this,
Whatever comes there is something amiss;
And whether their station be high or humble,
They are known by the name of Grumble.

The weather is always too hot or cold,
Summer and winter alike they scold;
Nothing goes right with the folks you meet
Down on that gloomy Complaining Street.
They growl at the rain and they growl at the sun,
In fact, their growling is never done.
And if everything pleased them, there isn’t a doubt
They’d growl that they’d nothing to grumble about.

But the queerest thing is that not one of the same
Can be brought to acknowledge his family name,
For never a Grumbler will own that he
Is connected with it at all, you see.
And the worst thing is that if anyone stays
Among them too long he will learn their ways,
And before he dreams of the terrible jumble
He’s adopted into the family of Grumble.

So it were wisest to keep our feet
From wandering into Complaining Street;
And never to growl, whatever we do,
Lest we be mistaken for Grumblers, too.
Let us learn to walk with a smile and song,
No matter if things do sometimes go wrong,
And then, be our station high or humble,
We’ll never belong to the family of Grumble!

Author Unknown

This year I am at my parents house for Thanksgiving without my husband. This is the first time in 20 years that we haven’t been together on a holiday. Besides the fact that I am missing my other half, I am truly grateful for his work ethic, our home, the food in our pantry, and most of all-God’s lovingkindness. There are times we didn’t have much of a home or food in the cabinets, but God’s lovingkindness was always present.

Phillipians 4:11-13 is key, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

So I have had many thoughts brewing in my mind about how I wanted to present what has been on my mind the last 3 weeks. I set out yesterday to write this all down, but a nasty migraine decided to surface. It was an unusually hard and long migraine. I guess Satan doesn’t like when I ponder my heart too much.

I have been rereading a book called The Emotionally Destructive Relationship by Leslie Vernick the past month. I stayed extra long, re-rereading the section about the heart. Everyone, regardless if they are in a bad relationship or not, has heart sin problems. This includes myself.

At the same time, my personal devotions came across Psalm 86:11, “Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.”

Let me list the types of hearts the Bible talks about so you can see if you know where you fall. Pray that God will reveal it so that you can come clean with confession.

The Proud Heart. They don’t need to be told the truth because they already know their own truth. If you try to correct them about it they shut you down. Sometimes they know their Scripture quite well and know how to twist it to justify what they are doing. They don’t know how to say “I was wrong.” or “I am sorry.” If they do, it is followed by “but you…” They feel entitled.  Proverbs 16:18, “Pride goes before destruction.”

The Angry Heart. Angry hearts  feel entitled, but they use their anger to get what they want or even need. Nobody teaches a baby to scream in anger for their bottle. They are angry that they aren’t getting the food quick enough. We can get angry about legitimate needs but when that becomes the dominate drive in our heart, it crosses over to sin. James 4:1-2, “What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you?”

The Envious Heart. Envy comes from pride.  The stories of Cain and Abel or King Saul and David play envy out at it’s worst. The envious person seeks to destroy the person who has whatever it is that the envious person wants. It might be obvious attacks, but it also could be subtle attempts to discredit or hurt the other person. This heart says, “You cannot have what I want.” James 3:16, “Wherever there is jealously and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.”

The Selfish Heart. The selfish person’s trinity is “Me, Mine, and More”.  A selfish person consumes with no thought of the other person or the consequences it will have. Phillipians 3:19, “They are headed for destruction. Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth.”

The Lazy Heart. Laziness isn’t only ignoring responsibilities but also avoiding  anything meaningful. Nonparticipation is the norm. They enjoy watching life go by as spectators. Uninvolved and noncommittal. Getting personally and emotionally invested in someone else is hard because it involves work and perseverance. Proverbs 18:9, “A lazy person is as bad as someone who destroys things.”

The Evil Heart. Yes, all foolish sin leads to evil, but the evil heart is more sinister and tends to take things further than a fool. Evil plots and plans but a fool doesn’t. An evil person appears good so that their evil doesn’t bring immediate shame and self-reproach. Proverbs 21:10, “A wicked man craves evil; his neighbor gets no mercy from him.”

The Fearful Heart. Anxiety drives people to manipulate through flattery, pleasing, domination, or even abuse to control the situation so that they don’t end up in a situation that is undesirable.  It is usually self-protection that drives them to act out in these ways.  Proverbs 29:25, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trust in the Lord is kept safe.”

I know that this blog entry was longer than I anticipated, but our hearts fall somewhere in these. Many times we hide it and/or try to keep our hearts from acting in a socially unacceptable ways. We don’t want others to notice so we attempt to make it fly as far under the radar as possible.

Lord, please give us undivided hearts.

*The list I have on the heart comes from Vernick’s book and I highly recommend her writings.

Everyone marvels at butterflies. They are delicate, graceful creatures that flutter about the garden. Many gardeners plant flowers in their garden that will draw these ornate creatures to their yard. It is the master gardener that knows that it isn’t about what you plant in your garden that attracts butterflies, but what you guard against.

Weeds are known for their obnoxious, self-centered hogging of all nutrients, space, light, and soil. This summer, I learned first hand about a weed known as being an “invasive exotic”. Garlic mustard was first introduced in the mid 1800′s by settlers for food and/or medicinal use. Unfortunately, the weed grew rampant and grew where the native plants like trilliums, trout lilly, sweet-cisley, and many others were supposed to be growing.

Not only does this weed tend to steal the resources needed for natural plant growth, it is toxic to the West Virginia white butterfly.  The momma butterflies lay their eggs on a spring wildflower called the toothwort. Sadly, the toothworts looks similar to the garlic mustard and momma butterfly mistakenly lays her eggs on the wrong plant. When the eggs are laid on garlic mustard, the eggs never hatch.

Think about the implications of this in our lives. We allow things in our life that look okay on the surface but these things are really distracting and quench the power that God has available to us. It could be music, entertainment, internet, relationships, even thought patterns. I am positive you can name your own distractions because we all have them.

1 John 1:8, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.”

Let’s also look at Mark 4 when Jesus is talking about the parable of the seeds. “Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.  Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop-some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what was sown.”

Personally, I want a crop that is bountiful with little white butterflies hovering over my blooms. This is true beauty and reflects the blessings and glory of God.